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 Nobody But You, ft. a surprise
nagito komaeda
 Posted: Mar 9 2018, 07:40 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


Nagito was exhausted.

It was a light exhaustion for once, the kind garnered by a flurry of activity and easily swept away by a recharging nap. He'd been so busy - he'd went to see Makoto and Hae and Zhi, and hung out with the ST*Rboys, and messaged so many people... it was no wonder he was tired, and in all honesty it was a definite improvement for him to say that he hadn't been tired all day and mean it. Normally his exhaustion lasted days, weeks, years, heavy and omnipresent... this was a whole new animal.

A whole new animal that made him want to do exactly what he was doing at this very moment: lay in his boyfriend's lap and watch the season finale of Aftershocks. He curled up, blanket around them both, his arms around Ji-Ho's neck while he watched over his own shoulder. It was interesting, and awesome to see how this all came together - but now, especialy during the commercial, his mind was elsewhere.

Specifically, his mind was here, right now. He and Ji-Ho had been through a lot recently. He'd put him through a lot. And knowing Ji-Ho... well, knowing what he knew now.... he wanted to assure him any way he could that everything would be fine now. He had goals now, and techniques to keep himself from teetering on the edge again. Ji-Ho didn't need to worry, as much as he probably would.

Nagito's grip on him tightened, and he planted a kiss onto Ji-Ho's cheek. "I love you," he started, "And I'm... excited to see this with you! And excited to be out and about, and excited to try new things... there's so much, but it's not overwhelming." He smiled. Some of his goals were to be more present, and open. This was a start, right...? "It's a good feeling."

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | <333
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: Mar 11 2018, 11:45 AM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Nagito was back, and with that came a whole host of emotions that Ji-Ho didn't know how to deal with.

He'd been thinking lately. (A dangerous pastime.) He'd been thinking about how every time Nagito needed him, needed him badly, he'd come up short. He could tell Nagito to remember his breathing exercises, to focus on how much he was loved and wanted, and even then, he couldn't protect the man in his lap enough to keep him from being hurt so badly. Ji-Ho knew that anxiety, much like his own mental issues with hiding his past and pretending nothing ever happened to him, wasn't something that could be cured. Nagito's dementia wasn't going to be cured, either, and that sat... well, Ji-Ho wanted him to get a miracle cure, but Ji-Ho didn't love him any less for being ill. He just felt like he wasn't good enough for Nagito.

For all Nagito said that Ji-Ho was perfect and he loved him so much and couldn't imagine being without him, Ji-Ho knew that he was a pale imitation of whatever Nagito saw in him. He was a broken man, slowly tying himself together but still broken. The military taught him a lot about protection and making snap judgments and being as steady as possible, but that couldn't be what Nagito wanted. Nagito was so soft; every edge in Ji-Ho's mind smoothed and soothed itself with just a simple touch, like the one Nagito lavished on him now, arms around his neck, craning his head to see the show he singlehandedly made a thousand times more interesting to watch.

The kiss brought Ji-Ho somewhat back to reality. He blushed, glancing down through the rims of his glasses to Nagito's bright face. He did look much better now, less gaunt and skittish. Ji-Ho generally didn't get the brunt of Nagito's anxiety, which made him feel a little less useless. If his presence did something, that would be good enough. "I'm glad it's not overwhelming. ...I'm sorry I couldn't be of better help to you, Nagito, really. I wish I was less like me sometimes." That was the extent to which Ji-Ho would reveal his fears. He was private. It was a curse. Nagito was the person who got the benefit of him being even that open.

"What kind of new things do you want to try?" Ji-Ho asked softly, lacing a kiss into his hairline.


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: WELCOME. IT'S HERE.


stop it right now, you know me well enough.
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nagito komaeda
 Posted: Mar 12 2018, 01:37 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


When their eyes met, Nagito started to allow himself to relax more. He was here with him, really here, and that was all that mattered, right? He was safe, and loved, and content, and... why did Ji-Ho look so nervous? He felt his heart sink suddenly. Had something happened? Had he done something wrong? But Ji-Ho was blushing, and when he started speaking...

He frowned. "You help me plenty..." he objected, nestling in tighter to him as he started kissing his forehead. If Ji-Ho was putting this blame on himself... he couldn't let him do that. "Why don't you think you did? Just because I-" His tongue lingered on the 'f' of failed, pulling back from the whole phrase. Another one of his goals was to try to reroute his language. He took a breath. "...I'm going to keep it from happening again. I don't want to feel like that, I don't... want you to feel like that either. Okay?"

His arms tightened in a hug before slacking. What new things did he want to try? "...Well, part of it is the therapy, there's a lot to try. But more than that, just... putting myself out there. Getting more involved in things!"

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | <333
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: Mar 24 2018, 12:16 PM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Nagito kissed his forehead, impressing upon Ji-Ho that he helped plenty. But did he? He could calm Nagito down over the phone, but he couldn't be there to stop these things from happening. He shouldn't want to be there to stop things from happening. He didn't want to appear possessive, he didn't want to control Nagito's life! He didn't control Nagito's life. All the things he was taught in the military - insert yourself into the situation, defuse things with your baton before you bothered with words, protect this country as if it was your lover, do what you needed to do to ensure safety for you and your loved ones - didn't serve him at all when he was with Nagito. He couldn't just go out and hit people who upset his boyfriend, much as he sometimes wanted to. He wasn't going to be around to defuse situations. He wasn't... he wasn't the warden here. He'd always been a bit like that with Tae-hee, and look where it got him. She was afraid to tell him she was a lesbian. It hurt knowing that she probably had a reason to be afraid of that, not because he'd ever said a bad thing about gay people, but because he tended towards cold, stern reaction when hurt.

"Just because I -" He cut himself off. Nagito was improving on insulting himself, but Ji-Ho still felt like he could be doing more. Nagito's self-esteem wasn't something he could affect or heal, but he could... what could Ji-Ho do? He'd been thinking. He'd been thinking a lot about how maybe, if Nagito had no reason to doubt his love and affections, things might be easier for him. It was a selfish thought, one borne out of Ji-Ho's own overwhelming desires, but that maybe lingered.

"...Nagito, you're getting so much better. I don't want you to think you aren't," Ji-Ho told him. "I just feel like... like the tools I've used for years are the wrong tools and I'm just realizing it." He let Nagito pull him in tightly, wrapping his arms around the other man to share in that tightness, making an involuntary contented noise as he snuggled into Nagito's cheek. But back to business. "...you didn't fail, Nagito. Someone hurt you and you reacted by being hurt. That's not failing." He sighed. "I... have very unreasonable expectations for myself because of the military. And unreasonable expectations about what I can fix because of that, too. I just hit people with sticks a lot. That's not really helpful to you." He snorted a bit. "...I just want you to never doubt that I'm here for you."

"Ah, the future," Ji-Ho said with a slowly growing smile. Getting more involved in things sounded much better than Nagito's previous mantra of 'let's do whatever, I'm gonna die tomorrow maybe wheee'. A big improvement, even if Nagito wouldn't admit it or didn't feel it. Ji-Ho kissed his collarbone sweetly. "I think your performance in this show is going to get you a lot more acting work. That's one way to get involved. What else were you thinking?"


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: <3


stop it right now, you know me well enough.
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nagito komaeda
 Posted: Mar 27 2018, 06:52 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


Nagito knew that he could be... a bit much at times. Certain things he did were so far out of his own control and that of everyone else around him, he wouldn't be surprised if everyone else got just as overwhelmed and fed up with it as he did. In all honesty, that was the biggest reason his self esteem was as low as it was - who would ever think he was good if they knew every little thing that set him off every other day? Who would think he was good if they knew how mad things made him, or how absolutely helpless and pathetic he was most of the time?

But Ji-Ho was helping that, and so was everyone else, and so was therapy. He was trying his damnedest to get better at this now, and to try to hate himself less, and to consider himself worthier of the people he loved. He just had to stick to the facts above his own fears, and the facts told him that Ji-Ho loved him very much. He'd stuck by him this entire time and was always there when he needed him - he'd talked him down from a full-scale, screaming in a silenced practice room panic attack. He'd been patient enough to deal with his worst - and he deserved him at his best. He was determined to give him his best.

Nagito didn't know why Ji-Ho was blaming himself. Even if it wasn't Nagito's fault, that didn't mean it was Ji-Ho's in anyway - his boyfriend had done everything right, in his eyes. He didn't know that Ji-Ho resorted to military tactics, or that he was protective from perceived threats above most else. What he saw and knew was someone who cared very much, and always seemed to do the right thing for him - whatever that was. Ji-Ho deserved more credit than he gave himself, and more than Nagito could ever give - but he could try. And that was teh important part.

Nagito gave a faint, tired smile. He knew he was doing better, but there was so many other things at play... and what Ji-Ho followed that up with just perplexed him more. He liked that noise at their hug, but - ...there he went, explaining to him how he was wrong again. He had a way of doing it that let him understand it better than most other people. He'd reacted. That wasn't failing, as much as it felt like it sometimes. The next part offered an explanation to his earlier expression: the military warped him. Nagito frowned. He guessed the violence wasn't helpful to him, but... he didn't really think of Ji-Ho in that way. "I don't," he assured. "...Why else do you think I called you?"

Of course, they changed the conversation into something much lighter. The future. It wasn't something Nagito was well-versed in thinking about, which made things difficult. He smiled at the kiss, snorting a bit at how it tickled before settling back in his arms. "I didn't even think of that - do you really think it's good enough for that?" It wasn't meant to be self-deprecating, but the language was still the same. "...I'm not sure. I want to start thinking about it. Even if I may not have much time, I can still plan, right? There's no harm in that?" The question hung in the air a moment before he realized how awful that sounded - he wasn't meaning for it to sound so morbid... "...What do you think of the future? What do you see?"

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | <333
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: Mar 31 2018, 11:56 AM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Why did Nagito call him? Ji-Ho thought for a moment. It was much easier to see when it was right in front of your face - in this case, right in front of your face, talking to you, hugging you like you were the only thing that mattered to them on earth. Ji-Ho could be hard on himself. Not many people saw it. He felt he had a duty to protect people from going through the river of shit he'd endured as a child and a teenager. He wanted to give each and every idol their proper due, as a human, to strip away the layers of defenses and affectations they were told to pour on. Nagito was always himself, and that appealed to Ji-Ho even before they were dating. He wanted to be there for Nagito. Nagito told him he had been, to the point where Ji-Ho was the first one he called now when it felt like the world was crashing down. "You're the first person I call, too." He thought about how he'd talked about his past to Nagito in the wake of Haena disappearing, something he couldn't even bring himself to tell his own daughter. His heart felt heavy with the knowledge that, maybe, he'd been doing better than he thought.

"I'm sorry," Ji-Ho apologized, resting his head on Nagito's shoulder, curling his body close. "I just... I want to be the best for you. I have things I need to work on, too." He kissed Nagito's neck delicately, his glasses twisting on his face. With a small huff, he took them off and put them on the bedside table as they began to talk about that wonderful idea, the future. When Ji-Ho was Nagito's age, his thoughts on the future revolved around saving as much money as possible, because who knew when the bottom would drop out on this new comedy thing he'd fallen into. Now... he was in a different sort of mindset.

"Of course I do," Ji-Ho assured him, resting back on the man's body. "I mean, it's kind of weird to think about, but we made people believe that we were just mentor and mentee for a while, didn't we? We are both great actors." Ji-Ho snorted before shaking his head. "I think that you're adept at falling into character. You have a good understanding of how your characters will react so you're able to embody it with your whole being." Nagito settled into his arms, noting that he wanted to plan, even if he didn't have much time. "Firstly, you are going to have all the time in the world, I have faith. Secondly, of course you can plan. Maybe one day they'll even let us be in the same drama!" Wouldn't that be something.

Ji-Ho paused, though, for just a second. "...I'm living as if we have all the time in the world. I'm thinking like we have all the time in the world. Maybe that's too optimistic. But the idea of a world without you is one I don't want to entertain."

"...What do you think of the future? What do you see?"

Ji-Ho didn't say anything for a few long, excruciating moments. He knew exactly what he saw - but did he want to say it? He didn't want Nagito to feel pressured to do anything he didn't want to do, didn't want him to fear the idea that they might not get there. It very well could just be fantasy, but it was the truth. Ji-Ho had never been dishonest with Nagito before. He knew that he wasn't going to start doing that today.

"I don't know what I'll be doing," Ji-Ho said softly, not daring to look into Nagito's eyes, instead tracing small shapes on Nagito's collarbone with his finger, watching the way his skin indented with each small movement. "But... I see us together, with our own house. Freaking out everyone with random bursts of affection. And you'll be this amazing MC, or amazing actor, or you'll have your own solo career, or maybe ST*R will go forever, but you'll be so loved and so popular that you'll never doubt yourself again." He smiled sweetly at the thought. "When I think about the future, it's just you. You and I living together, Tae-hee being all stubborn about it but getting over it eventually, you having the best career, us..."

But he cut off. He cut out the bigger things. Them adopting some small child who needed love and affection, just like Nagito's family adopted him to give him a better life. Them getting married, laws and paperwork be damned. ST*R's 20th anniversary, after everyone realized what a genius album W*cked is and it becomes a classic in the K-pop canon, dammit. Ji-Ho officiating Haena's wedding to Makoto while Nagito handed them both their rings as their best man. Endless days full of sunlight, no matter what the sky actually looked like, because as long as Nagito was there, there would never be a dark day.

"...us..."


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: omg


stop it right now, you know me well enough.

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nagito komaeda
 Posted: Apr 2 2018, 12:13 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


"I know," Nagito admitted, a slight, sympathetic smile on his face. He normally wondered if he deserved it - but he never doubted that Ji-Ho always came to him first. He was lucky, after all, through and through, to be so thoroughly important and loved by someone he considered the sun.

Nagito rested his head on Ji-Ho's, cheek squishing into his temple. "Don't apologize," he insisted, "I know you do... and i want to help." He sat up slightly for Ji-Ho to remove his glasses, but immediately went back to the same position afterward. He did laugh slightly - but he understood where Ji-Ho was coming from. So, he really was a good actor. Somehow. And... more than that, Ji-Ho was convinced he'd have more time than he allowed himself to think he did. Maybe one day they'd be in the same drama? "The day someone lets that happen is the day our government falls into ruin," he joked - but it had a grain of truth to it. He wasn't even sure if straight couples were allowed to be in the same drama - were they?

"...I want to try that," he admitted, voice quieter than it had been. "But..." His voice caught. It was still too hard, honestly, to wrap his head around. There was always a time limit. If he took that off... he'd have to work harder. He needed to.

He sat in the silence, unsure of what to say or do. Had he said something wrong? Probably, but... maybe, more likely, Ji-Ho was just trying to think through this as much as he was. But when he finally spoke, Nagito listened, eyes on him even as his fingertips tickled at his skin.

Everything he was saying... sounded like a dream. Neither of them knew what they'd be doing. That was fair, it relied on so many factors. He wasn't sure if he'd never doubt himself again, but he could try. But... all he thought about was them. Living together, being jerks to Tae-Hee, them...

Ji-Ho faded out. Nagito's mind started filling in blanks. Them playing random games when the power goes out. Them kissing out on a sun-soaked balcony. Them dancing in the kitchen, late at night, the lights down and no one there but them, wrapped up in each other, kissing each other in complete comfort.

...He wanted that. He wanted forever.

"...Tell me more..." He pleaded, voice barely above a whisper.

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | <333
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: Apr 2 2018, 11:10 PM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Nagito wanted to help. That was the sweet, enveloping, joyful truth about both of them - they wanted to help each other. Nothing that the other did stopped them from caring and loving each other, much as the odds suggested they wouldn't be able to overcome each other's problems. They couldn't fix each other. Fixing someone wasn't the reason you got into a relationship. You got into a relationship to fill those cracks and wounds with something soothing, to lift your partner up above the darkness so that they could see light. They kept pushing each other into the sunshine, in the hopes that one day, they'd both find each other there, naturally.

"You've seen what they're talking about right now in the government, right?" Ji-Ho asked Nagito gently. "Maybe next season there will actually be some gay hinting in a K-drama. The world is changing. It's... it's crazy to see for me. It's not something I ever expected to see in my lifetime." He snuggled up to Nagito as he thought about more things they could do, things that easily slid from his brain to the tip of his tongue, thinking on that very fact. In almost a year's time, he'd gone from fearing to be seen at Pride because of the implications to his life and career, even as a single man... to lying beside the love of his life on a dusky afternoon, watching him act on television, food and sheets strewn around them, living. Nagito worried about the time he might have left - Ji-Ho knew it, even though Nagito tried not to speak to it - but Ji-Ho knew that Nagito had never felt as dead inside as he had, for decades, unloved, broken down by a world that certainly wouldn't want him if they ever knew, afraid of the opinions of a daughter who he'd inadvertently cursed to the same internal death. It was a quiet death, the death of the spirit.

And Nagito brought him back.

Nagito wanted to try to live everything he said, all the sweet things. His "but..." petered out as he listened further to Ji-Ho's fantasies, tempered by his own fears. He'd been here once before. He'd been so in love once, so ready to give himself fully to someone else, but it ended sourly, and Ji-Ho was so afraid of that turn, that one day he'd look in Nagito's eyes and see the same dullness that lived in his ex-wife's, that there would be a desolate space of nothingness in his future once more.

But things were different, compared to back then.

Ji-Ho wasn't desperate to escape a horrible life, and neither was Nagito. Nagito was older than he had been before he was a father of a three year old; Ji-Ho was much more stable now, a real adult, one who'd suffered enough to know what unconditional love looked like. He gave it to Nagito where he hadn't been mature enough or open enough to give it to his ex-wife. He gave that love to Nagito, the passion he felt for her and the heartbreaking care he felt for his daughter and the bursting emotions he felt every time he saw a new idol pass by him and give him their pure, undiluted, untainted smile. The world was harsh. But it didn't have to be.

"...Tell me more..."

Ji-Ho inhaled sharply before grinning, shaking his head just a bit. "...us getting married."


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: crying


stop it right now, you know me well enough.
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nagito komaeda
 Posted: Apr 2 2018, 11:42 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


Oh - that was right. Someone - Fang and Justice's father, specifically, he'd talked with Fang about it a lot - had proposed ending the ban on same-sex marriage. He couldn't deny it - it was obviously in response to the changing tides of the world and the outings that had occured, and even the coming-outs like for him. It was influential in a way that could really change the world... but... there was also that doubt in his mind that it would go through. There was a lot of backlash happening already, even among fans - the vitriol people normally spat at him on twitter had gotten much more venomous lately. Sometimes, even though he wouldn't admit it, it scared him. This whole situation scared him.

...But he didn't have to be scared alone.

That was what rested on his mind as he kept staring into Ji-Ho's eyes. He didn't have to be scared alone. This wasn't just his burden to bear. He didn't have to do any of this alone - he hadn't been doing any of this alone, or hiding it nearly as much as he'd thought he had, since it began. Ji-Ho had been the one who made him go to the doctor, and had been the one to squeeze his hand while he heard his test results, and hold him when he threw up after surgery, and let him sleep undisturbed on his lap for hours on end while recovering. Ji-Ho was someone he owed his life to - in more ways than one. If it weren't for him pushing him to get things checked out, he'd be dead... and if it weren't for him knowing and being there for him, there's no way he would have stuck around after the diagnosis. As hard as he was on himself... he'd never done anything but right by Nagito.

And Nagito loved him. Deeply, in ways he didn't always understand. His chest ached for him. If they didn't talk long enough, even if he knew everything was fine and he'd see him in a few hours, he couldn't help but miss him dearly. Everything about him, from his voice to the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled or laughed at a stupid joke, was deeply, insatiably attractive to him. He could get lost right here, laying almost on top of him, breathing in his scent and warmth.

He didn't want this to end. Ever.

Ji-Ho was quiet, and breathed deeply, obviously almost nervous as he finally answered Nagito's question: them getting married.

He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but his heart was in a vice grip, leaping into his throat in an explosion of butterflies. Everything connected, a word put to it in ways he was just finally understanding. "Really?" He asked, breathless as he sat up on his elbow, eyes never leaving Ji-Ho's face. "I want that too, I -"

He needed to compose himself. He stared at him another moment, and swallowed. With a tone as solemn as the grave but as pleading, begging as before in a desperate attempt to get his point across, he said, "I want you to be my husband." Saying it out loud sent shivers down his spine. His guard weakened. He'd said it all wrong, that wasn't how you... "...Will you be my husband?"

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | :') here it is
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: Apr 21 2018, 09:01 PM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Nagito got up on his elbows, and for a painful, horrified second, Ji-Ho thought he was going to leave. Ji-Ho should have realized that he was just trying to look into his eyes, that strained "really?", breathless with want, doing just enough to reassure Ji-Ho that this might not end as catastrophically as he assumed. Because for all Ji-Ho had been through, he really hadn't been more sure of anything. He wanted to marry Nagito, when Nagito was ready. He'd been ill, he'd dealt with career tribulations, he was just finally picking up those pieces... but he didn't ever want to lie to Nagito. Ji-Ho knew the day he lied to Nagito was the day that it was unsalvageable and they'd have to go their separate ways.

Ji-Ho never wanted that to ever happen. And, evidently, neither did Nagito. He wanted that, too - but he cut off.

Ji-Ho's face froze in its amazement. He didn't know whether to be excited or afraid of what was going to follow, so he just stared at Nagito, holding his breath. Nagito gulped, almost bathed in the light from the window in the small bedroom, his hair in his face and his bony elbows swallowed by his sweater. Nagito never ceased to amaze him, not when they first met, and not now, seriousness etched onto his face even as he leaned forward to keep Ji-Ho from fleeing the tension.

"I want you to be my husband."

Ji-Ho didn't get it at first, letting out that held breath with a little laugh. "So we're on the same -"

"...Will you be my husband?"

Oh. Oh.

Ji-Ho could only blink for a few moments. He'd envisioned how he would propose to Nagito - he just assumed he would be doing that; he should've realized that Nagito was the one who was always seizing the opportunities for them. If Nagito hadn't come to his door, there would be no "them". If Nagito hadn't come into his office at the ISACs, they wouldn't have gone through the journey of Nagito's sickness together. Nagito could "push" everyone away as much as he wanted - at the end of the day, there was one person he'd pulled with him consistently this past almost-year. Ji-Ho couldn't believe he'd been so presumptuous... this was how it was supposed to happen, even if it wasn't perfect, there were no rings, no fireworks or songs or dressing up.

No, Ji-Ho corrected himself. This was perfect. He didn't even realize he was crying until he reached his arms out and crushed Nagito in the tightest hug he'd ever given another human being, sinking his head onto Nagito's bony shoulder. "Of course, of course I will, of course I want - I -" And that was all he could say before he completely dissolved.


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH


stop it right now, you know me well enough.

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nagito komaeda
 Posted: May 6 2018, 05:02 PM
Quote
nagito komaeda
CM Entertainment
25 years old
written by Penny
437 posts


I cried because I have


He laughed. Nagito was instantly filled with worry - he hadn't said it right! He didn't understand it! He didn't understand the importance, the weight Nagito was feeling and trying desperately to fill his words with right now! He almost, almost repeated his question to try to force it across when he fully took in the change in Ji-Ho's expression.

He'd caught him off guard... but maybe - just maybe - that wasn't necessarily bad. There were tears in Ji-Ho's eyes, but he didn't say anything until it all came spilling out at once - he wrapped Nagito in the tightest hug he'd ever been given, and said of course. Of course I will.

It was like the entire Earth had stopped moving just for them right now. His chest fell in relief, and he wrapped his arms around Ji-ho, kissing his cheek several times in quick succession. "I know this was sudden but - why wait, and - and I love you so much and I just..." Okay. So he was absolutely getting choked up right along with him, in a giddy way. "I'm just so glad! That you want this too! Babe!"

Tag: @ji-ho won | Outfit | :') here it is
No right to love you
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ji-ho won
 Posted: May 28 2018, 11:16 AM
Quote
ji-ho won
Media
42 years old
written by lars
131 posts



saying that this is for my own good,
saying that you are just not enough

Even with all the kisses Nagito lavished on his cheek, and the way he tried to to say that this was sudden, Ji-Ho couldn't calm down, at all. He knew why he couldn't calm down but at the same time, he didn't know why. He'd never been this moved before, and maybe it was because he never envisioned having love this late in his life. He'd gotten his chance, and it fell apart, not because either he or his ex-wife were bad people. He had his beautiful daughter, and she took all the love in his heart for so long that he forgot what it was like to love someone who he wasn't caring for. If he'd had any inkling a few years ago, when he first lit eyes on the lithe visual from the trainwreck band that no one would shut up about, that the man would be his future husband... well, he still would have bought that photocard from a merch stall. And it wouldn't have meant any less to him to feel his heart stirring and reawakening once more.

Nagito choked up right along with him, though, and he had to laugh through his happy tears. "How could I not want this?" Ji-Ho asked him in delight. It didn't quite match the question. He was just too damn happy to pretend he had any questions - sure, in the coming hours, he'd probably reflect on the fact that there was no ability for them to legally get married, and the fact that ST*R, perpetual train wreck, would remain a perpetual train wreck in part because of him, and the agency was to be contended with, and would they ever be allowed on screen together again if they married? Ji-Ho wanted to believe yes. He would force someone to give them a variety show.

But that wasn't relevant right now! He squeezed Nagito again, as if he'd somehow forgotten the man was there. "I want to be with you forever, I can't believe you want the same thing and I..." He sighed happily, trying to dry his tears on Nagito's shirt and failing. His cheeks were too bony, damn it. "I don't care if it's sudden, I... this is everything I've ever wanted! I can't wait to -"

His eyes widened a bit. Oh. Oh boy. Reality. "...tell my daughter. Who will... probably not be happy."


TAG: @nagito komaeda
NOTES: FLUFF BOMB


stop it right now, you know me well enough.
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