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Posted: Feb 11 2018, 05:59 PM
Her last day at school.
Lee-Sing tilted her head back and stared up at the old rust-colored brick building, and surrounded by so many people as the younger students, families, and spectators all stepped out of the auditorium to join the graduating students outside, not a single one of them noticed the soft scowl on her face. Most of them moved in groups: of families pressed together, crying at how grown up their new graduate was, tearfully telling them how proud they were; of friends, laughing at the newly flour-and-egg covered senior students, screaming and running away in terror as they tried to hug the younger ones. Sing only watched them with reserved eyes, part of the crowd of students and adults and children, and yet somehow completely separated. Part of her knew she should be heading back to where the Sealight groups would be waiting, where the rest of the girls in Delilah would be waiting to scoop her into their arms, but she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet.
She didn't know how to handle the nostalgic warmth burning in her chest. She didn't feel emotions like this. She hated this school; hated the building where she had played at average for three long fucking years, hated the basic pedestrians she'd had to suffer through as classmates, hated every second of her "education" in Korea. The day was finally here where she wouldn't have to get up early and leave the rest of her group alone to make the motions through a day of useless training and learning, and she was... torn. Broken apart a bit. She didn't understand it, couldn't wrap her mind around the sudden longing to go back to the small girl who had stood at the opening ceremony all those years ago with all the promise of the future ahead of her.
It took someone from her class calling her name a handful of times before she turned to answer, automatically smiling the charming smile that the cameras and fans loved as she waved good-bye to them. She couldn't recall their names exactly, and yet, as she watched them leave with bundles of flowers in their arms and covered in the senior tradition, she could feel the smile on her face fading a little. Her own parents wouldn't be there to see her off; they had sent their regards, and she was actually pretty happy about that. The doctors had a habit of making even their encouragement into something scathing and judgemental, and she hardly needed them to add to the group of people screaming her name earlier as she'd taken the podium as one of the top of her class.
(Part of her that she wouldn't admit to wished, almost, that they were there to hold their precious baobei's hand and lead her to where she needed to go next.)
Sing glanced down and brushed some of the flour off the edge of her skirt, smiling to the almost bitter pang in her chest. She had purposefully stayed out of the flour and egg tradition to ruin the senior's uniforms, standing behind the tallest member of their graduation class so that she got the minimal mess on her perfect outfit and hair; he had done a wonderful job of protecting her, and she had gifted him a rare hug as thanks, letting up the pretense that she didn't know his name or that he hadn't caught her attention from the moment they'd both met at the opening ceremonies. Now that she thought about it, that... was probably going to be the last time she saw him, at least until he debuted. She'd have to wait until Delilah and DTR did a comeback around the same time again before she'd see Saranyu again, probably.
Her throat hurt when she swallowed, suddenly caught with a lump that hadn't be there before that fact had occurred to her. She looked up and scanned the crowd of familiar faces in soiled yellow uniforms, wondering why they all looked so pleased when all she felt was lost. Like she was in a boat without oars and drifting somewhere without her knowing. Her eyes landed on one familiar face, not dressed in yellow, and the lump jumped and doubled in her throat until she was choked on it. She only just found her voice as the woman walked closer, her smile lost somewhere in her thoughts as she greeted her leader softly, "Unnie." and because it was just the two of them, "...jiějiě."
@jianyi li this got out of hand long, please ignore the rambling SORRY